Dear stranger

I don’t really remember how we met, it’s like as soon as I was born you were my best friend and we were never strangers. There was never a time in my childhood I don’t remember you being there because you were always there. I had known you my entire life and  I was sure it would stay that way forever.

The first ten years were the sweet honeymoon stage, where we were so close not even our parents could separate us. All our inside jokes, games and stories , all the things you’d tell me that you wouldn’t tell anyone else made me feel special. But as the years went by, we both lived our own very different lives and you changed, but you probably think I’ve changed. Our parents excuse it saying it’s just a phase, they thought we’d find our way back or maybe they hoped we would because neither of us knew how to live without the other. We didn’t fight on open ground, it was behind closed doors, through friends and sneaky remarks. The apologise didn’t feel real when reading them through a screen. You learnt not to trust anyone and I learnt how to over analyse. Slowly we drifted so far away we might as well be on opposite ends of the world, at least that’s how it felt to me. I guess I was foolish to be sure it would stay that way forever

In the next three years, there were stages we were fine, stages we were tired and stages we were done with it all. We decided just to let it settle never really resolving our problems instead letting them wait and boil over at any given moment. First I blamed you for the way you hurt me, then I blamed everyone who came between us and finally I blamed myself for letting it get so bad and for fooling myself into thinking it would stay that way forever.

Then one night, in the middle of nowhere, far away from home where barely anyone knew us, we had a moment. Everything felt like it was when we were young as we sat under shooting stars. I thought maybe now we were fixed but as soon as the sun rose the next day we went back home to where everything was the same. I soon realised it wasn’t a reuniting it was a final goodbye. Maybe you’d given up on the thought that we would stay that way forever.

Communication died down, and I pass you in the halls and smile and you smile back. We still talk but it’s not the same. When I talk to you I feel like a stranger in my own home. Your smile, your eyes, the way you carry yourself, the way you talk, all familiar but different at the same time. Every now and then I’ll hear you laugh from down the hall or around the corner and I can’t help but laugh with you, listening to the familiar and contagious sound. Now finally I know the way you have changed my life will stay that way forever, so thank you stranger. 

Thankyou for reading, I put up new posts every Friday.

Love Lil xx




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